Leafy Thoughts

First Date

11:34PM, Somewhere California- We are sitting in a bar, the kind of dive that would be really cool in music video but in reality, smells like the bottom of an old milk carton that has been sitting in the sun for 23 years. This was not my idea. In fact- the last thing I want to do is be on a date with a dude I barely know, in a bar surround by every vice known to mankind. I don’t drink, he chugs from a bottle that he occasionally backwashing into. He is talking about his job and strongly hinting that my clothes ought to end up on the floor of his “condo that is $2500 a month in rent. Did I tell you I make Apps? Let me show you my app.” This was so, not my idea. This event was planned by well-intentioned people who assume I would rather spend my Friday evening with Mr. Actually-That’s-Not-How-Science-Works than sitting alone on my computer. Every inch of my body is screaming at me to get out of here, so I do that flirty half-grin and international sign for ‘I AM VERY SEXY’ and throatily proclaim, “I have a confession.” His glassy eyes meet mine, I lean in whisper in her ear as my nose brushes his overly-priced beard cut, “I moonlight as a talking plant on the internet for people who like to watch demonic activity as relaxing entertainment.” First date: 1 hour, 17 minutes, 37 seconds.

Satire. Comedy. Jokes. These are my methods of handling times in life where I want to run away from everyone and everything I know. Writing this, is kind of like going on a first date with me, except that I want to be here, and I want you to know who I am. Many of you know me as PLANT, Not-Misha, Maybe-Misha(?), or That-Person-I-Hate. My name is Emy. I was not always a plant on the internet. It seems like a long time ago… last year. Many things were different. We didn’t have the dumpster fire that is the American President for starters, but that’s for another time. Last year I was sitting around my house, probably drinking too much, watching Netflix. I went online but not to any extent further than chatting, or sh*t posting about whatever celebrity scandal was going on at the time. I found some real cool people online, and one day, I discovered there was this whole other world I had never heard of before. F A N D O M.

Wtf. How did I manage to go [redacted] years of my life and not experience a fandom? I consider myself a fan of many things, Supernatural, Harry Potter, cats, Domino’s Pizza, etc and yet? Curious I made myself a Twitter handle that was probably something like @PizzaGhostCas and dove head first into this group of passionate and magically people. It didn’t take me too long to fully immerse myself in fan-culture. Soon I was talking in all caps, tweeting “LKEJFLESJLK” more often than not, and most importantly learning the real life impact a fandom can have in this world. So why did I start tweeting and writing as a Kale, the plant? Remember those celebrity scandals? Unrelated, just wanted to see if you were listening.

Something I noticed while becoming more and more active in the Supernatural Fandom/Family was how the tides shift and small groups come to the surface in waves. The fandom, to me, is akin to an ever-glowing fire- it’s always there to keep you warm on dark nights. Sometimes it roars, so full of life it can be seen for miles and other times it smolders. Often, fire is misrepresented as a symbol for destruction when it is far closer a symbol of rebirth and life! A fire will protect itself, and that is what THIS fandom does. Through a trauma like a forest fire- new plants begin to grow again. Stronger. I created TheKaleOnline to breathe oxygen into a fire burning so hot and so angry other elements were trying to silence it into submission. I did not want to look back and only see ashes. So, I dropped the seeds of my site- using the only thing I could do to try and help heal, and from that day- the plant has been growing, and thanks to it- so have I- and this is all in thanks to the blaze that is Fandom. Of course, a fire is nothing without Oxygen, Fuel, and Heat. Literally… that is what makes up a fire. I googled it just now. (I started this metaphor thing- so we are going with it.)

So. What are the oxygen, fuel, and heat that make up a fandom? That’s completely up to interpretation. I’ll tell you what I think. YOU, you reading this are the oxygen. A fandom without fans is literally just a long F-word. You breathe life into shows, you drive actors to really want to chase demons for 12 years, you create new shows with your passion. Hey! PASSION. That is the heat of a fandom. Everything you do guys, is done with such vivacious tenacity. What gets you all doing things with such aggressive desire? Well, many things honestly, yet here is where the fuel of Fandom is so unique to me. Philanthropy.

Of course, I love the cast and crews of shows, but the heart and fuel that makes me, proud to be a member of the Supernatural fandom, (and its spin-offs/actor’s other awesome shows/etc.), is the never tiring urge to give back, help others, and make the world a better place. This is a fandom that LITERALLY will find an organ for you if you need one. This is a fandom who breaks world records in kindness. This is a fandom who thinks bigger and stronger when it comes to helping people that anything I could have even imagined possible. When I started writing satire, I never expected to also find a platform that allows me to help people on a real-life level that is the opposite of parody or comedy. I love to make people laugh, I am quick with a quip- but I find my biggest inspirations these days NOT from negativity or anger but from love. You all have taught me that, and that’s a gift I don’t know how I will ever repay. So, I’ll do my best to use the Plant to advocate for social change, donate instead of receiving, and being a vessel and voice for those who need it.

After all of this, you probably wouldn’t want to go on a second date with me, because let’s be totally honest- I just spent the last however long it took you to read this mostly talking about myself in blog form. That being said, let’s be friends with benefits. The benefits being we grow and we give back to others who need it.




  • Peter Bollinger

    Love the idea.

  • Alesha

    I love you Plant. That’s all.

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